Mirror, Mirror on the Wall …. a Story of 2 Sisters

The mirror doesn’t lie but often our eyes do deceive us. This post doesn’t have anything to do with aprons but all about our perceptions of ourselves. I need to back up a bit and let you know a little bit about me. I’ve always been large, I was a larger then average child and teen, but was I really fat? It’s hard for me to look back and decide, but yes I was at least somewhat over weight. The reason it is hard for me to know for sure is because I was always considered fat, but the reality is that I am a very large boned woman and I have broad shoulders and I grew up to be what is considered a full figured woman. Right after high school and when I was out on my own for the first time I started to loose weight and then I actually went on a pretty strict diet and was successful but the smallest I could get was 135lbs and a size 12, well if the dress had a stretchy bodice and was sleeveless .. lol .. I couldn’t get smaller then that because my body just wouldn’t let me. I did manage to stay around that weight for a couple of years but as I matured I found that it was easier on me to maintain a weight of about 145 to 155 and I did maintain that size with a few slip ups, for at least a decade or so, but as I’ve gotten older my weight has climbed and we wont discuss the rest of my store because what I really want to talk about is how we perceive ourselves and are we seeing what other people see? Every time I looked in a mirror I still saw myself as being fat, sure at times I realized that I looked pretty good but generally I still saw myself as being fat and over weight.

My sister was just the opposite, she grew up as a pretty typical size for her age and every one told her that she would never be fat. Why she believed them I really have no idea considering that both of our parents and almost all of our grandparents were way over weight. But because she believed what every one told her she never really watched her weight and as she got older she kept gaining more and more weight

One day there was a special event and she had on the most hideous dress for her size, everything about it was wrong, from the high neckline to the cinched in waist. Being a nice sister I didn’t say a word to her about it and luckily she didn’t ask for my opinion. I never learned if someone did say something to her or not but a few weeks after that out of the blue, she said to me that she didn’t have to worry about every being anorexia because every time she looks in a mirror she sees herself as still the skinny girl that she was growing up.

That comment made me think about how we perceive ourselves and how some times our eyes lie to us. I would like to say that after that I stopped seeing a fat girl in the mirror every time I looked, but that would be a lie. I do try really hard to see the truth what ever it may be, whenever I look in my mirror. OK, honestly I avoid mirrors these days. ;)

Memories

One of my fondest memory as a child was wearing one of my mother’s big, soft aprons while helping around the house. Of course I wasn’t thrilled with helping with household tasks but I certain appreciated the apron. ;)

Both my mother and grandmother were large women and they often made their own aprons. They had every day aprons and pretty hostess aprons that were wisps of nylon and lace. They both had a large stack of pretty hostess aprons in all different colors and I would oh and ah over how delicate and pretty they were.

Holiday dinner at my Grandmother’s house often centered in the kitchen; where the ladies in the family would gather to prepare and put the finishing touches on the big meals. When they changed from their work aprons to their holiday hostess aprons, we knew that it was time to start serving the dinner.